Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Hey all!!

Hey! I am happy to be starting a blog... :) I used to have another one, but I've forgotten what it was called. hehe :P I'm silly like that. Anyways, hi. This may not be a very busy blog to read, but I'll write as often as I can, and if ppl like to hear things going on in my life; and my mind.
I love how I'm finally done with my 1st yr in college! Now I just need to work harder and do my best so that I can graduate with my generals next spring I hope. :)
Well, my summer has been....interesting. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend that I had been with for almost 4 months. Weird. I've pictured myself with a guy, many times. But I still knew it would never really happen. Then again, here I am telling you that it DID. I broke it off just a week or 2 before school was ending....bad timing, I know. But it felt like the right time to.
Anyways, away from the sad news. That day, a good friend of mine, and surprisingly a guy....invited me to go on a drive with him...to help his grandma. It sounded odd at first, going alone, and I was the most nervous I had been in a LONG time. But I had a feeling it would be a good thing to get my mind off of that sad event...but, in truth, it was the best thing I had done in a long time-for ME. I enjoyed the talking so much! :) Anyways, about a month later, we had been seeing each other more often...and he then asked me to be his girlfriend. I had to admit I was shocked, but happy. I said "yes". I do have to admit that for a week I had mixed feelings. I felt bad going into another relationship so quickly. It would appear to other ppl like a "rebound relationship" and I didn't want ppl to think that. I almost wanted to tell him I needed time, but I would've just been lying to myself. I knew that that wasn't the reason behind me saying yes. So, I just let everything play out.
As always, it was hard to just stop talking to my ex. And I cared for him the same way I had before I broke it off. I felt so bad about feeling that way when I was with someone else. But after a few weeks, and with talking to my ex a bit about how he felt, I saw that my feelings like that had faded too. I still care about him a lot, but not in the way I had before. Besides, only one person can TRULY have your heart. :)
So, here I am, almost 1 month/4 weeks of being with my boyfriend. And I'm happy. More than with my ex. And I know he really does care about ME. We have many many late nights spent just talking. Yes, really. JUST talking. And when he holds me close, I feel...alive, and loved, and I am glad.
Well, there's an update of my life the past month. I know-a lot of changes. But believe me, that's nothing compared to how my past year has changed. Like 10x more. But that's enough for today, or rather tonight.

secretdreamer signing off.... :)

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